Life happens even when your loved one is behind bars. An Oklahoma woman talks about how she dealt with job hunting, car troubles, and keeping in touch when her husband was about to be transferred from County Jail to Lexington.
Within the first week of her husband’s incarceration, Youtube vlogger OkPrisonWife found herself in yet another situation that nobody wants to be in. What had promised to be a years-long career at a company she loved ended in a heartbeat when she was suddenly terminated without warning.
For the first couple of weeks I found myself having to look for a job. On a personal, the people at my work were very supportive, but due to a technicality they did have to let me go. So I was looking for work in the first weeks of Eric’s incarceration.
Oklahoma is an at-will employment state; which means that an employee can be fired at any time, with or without any reason, or any prior notification. With her husband in jail, waiting to go to prison, she was the family’s sole source of income. With her out of work, they risked losing everything from their home and vehicle, to the carefully saved toys and Pokémon cards belonging to her young stepson. Not only that, the critical need for communication with her husband was constantly in jeopardy as the constant demand for telecom phone fees from City Telecoin and later Securus took a toll on their dwindling finances. The clock was ticking to find some kind of work– any kind of work –when yet another unforeseen hardship came into play.
I did find [work] pretty quickly, but not before my car broke down.
Yes, you read that right. Within a week, life had taken her husband far away, taken her job, and then taken the car. The practical problems were obvious. Every job application in the world, it seems, has that “Do you have reliable transportation?” question to weed out candidates without a vehicle. There were no friends or family in the area who could help with rides. Even if work could be found, getting there every day was going to be a problem.
Still, there was more to the car problem than simply being unable to drive to work.
It wasn’t just my car. It was our car. It was one of the last big things that Eric and I had bought together, and it was also partially from his father. It was just one of those things that we stood to lose. I was looking at “What if we can’t pay rent?” “What if we can’t get the car fixed?” “What if I can’t get work?” and all of these things. I’m trying to fix this situation and, at the same time, still be there for Eric; let him know that I’m still here and talking to him. At the same time, he’s in there, and even with all he’s dealing with, he’s trying to fix the situation.
The two of them rolled up their sleeves, and did their best to face a bad situation together, even though they were apart. This struggle was not without logistical challenges. Before long, the difficulties in communication led to even further emotional challenges.
That was difficult because it’s hard to collaborate when you not only have your own “everything” to deal with, but also you’re stuck with only the information that I have to give you. So at the same time that I’m trying to do all these things, and talk to all these people I need to talk to, I’m also trying to live with my phone in my hand and send this information along so that he can try to help the best he can, and do what he does best. So it was pretty chaotic for a little while.
In the midst of this, another layer was added to the already-chaotic situation. This one, they saw coming; though they didn’t know when or how it would happen. The news came in the middle of the night, after the change had already been made by the DOC.
He was transferred to receiving, which was a whole other form of chaos in its own right. Receiving is about the worst place you can be. Lexington is filled with bedbugs, filth, and oppressive heat. There are people who didn’t make it out of there.
She’s referring to Lexington Assessment and Reception Center (LARC); a place typically referred to as “Receiving” or simply “A & R” by many who are familiar with it. Receiving is the place to which inmates are sent before they go to prison; a maximum security facility between County Jail and State Prison. There, incarcerated individuals are placed on constant lockdown, and undergo a battery of tests, assessments, and medical procedures that are condensed into a number based on a standardized “points” system. Individuals with more points go to more restrictive, higher security facilities, while those with fewer go to lower security. In other words, the future of their prison sentence depends on it.
There’s only one A&R facility for men in Oklahoma, and LARC is it. It’s intended to be a short-term facility, but inmates are locked down for 23 hours a day, for a month or more, while they wait for a bed to open up in the prison they’re assigned to. In that time, they’re exposed to disease, the elements, and the mental and physical toll confinement in such a place will take on the human body.
At the time of this recording, the vlogger’s husband was still being held in this facility. In later videos she talks more at length about it, and he writes about his experience in his own words. While he remains within Lexington’s walls, however, every word comes with a fear of retaliation. What if the facility cuts off their communication after she posts, like Leflore County Jail did? Or worse, what if something is done to her husband’s risk assessment that he doesn’t deserve? She becomes visibly uncomfortable after bringing it up, and quickly changes the subject. The video ends with her signing off, saving the rest of the story for another day. Leaving things like this makes it clear that this entry isn’t going to be one of those stories where everything turns out okay in the end. Rather, it’s a snapshot of a difficult time that reminds us life doesn’t care about giving you a pause to breathe. Without resolution, without solutions, all she can do at that time is send the message “We are here,” and promise to follow up in the future.
For now, I just wanted to show some proof of life, show that we’re still holding up, and let you know that you can expect another update soon.
