In days past, it was easy to tell how old a person was. It was obvious. Kids dressed as kids, teenagers as teenagers, and adults dressed as adults. Age appropriate behaviors were common, and there was a clear line between youth and adult. With social media and social norms, those lines are blurred. Adults well into their 30’s are dressing like teens and teens are dressing like adults more so than at any other point in history.
Earlier, I spoke to a man that was sentenced to 20 years for assaulting a minor. Anyone who harms a child should be punished, but what if it wasn’t assault? What if it was deceit layered on misunderstanding? Is 20 years appropriate?
They met in a game shop. He was in his mid-20’s and had a fondness for playing dungeons and dragons. She was outgoing, and also an enthusiast. While pouring over different character pieces on the peg wall they struck up conversation. Almost immediately they felt a strong attraction. Â
She was witty, well-dressed, and attractive. He considered himself maybe a little below average but in that moment, he felt like a 10.Â
He invited her to play with his friends one weekend. He was part of a group that met every Saturday at a friends house. A couple weeks after their chance meeting she shows up at the house, ready to play. For the next three weeks this became routine.Â
He was smitten.Â
The last time he saw her was amazing. They finished playing for the night and everyone had drifted away. There was just three of them left, which became two as his friend went to bed. She gestured for him to come close. He leaned in and kissed her, for the first time, their only kiss. A soft kiss, and as soon as it happened it was over.Â
They decided to call it a night. After another brief embrace, he watched her as she walked off down the street. He asked if she wanted a ride, as he did every week, which she strongly declined, every week. Still, he was in heaven.
Two weeks later his life changed forever. He was startled awake early in the morning as officers demanded that he give himself up. He was taken into custody without incident. They claimed that he had attacked a little girl and that she barely got away.
It was a short fight after that. He took the first plea deal they offered simply because he didn’t have the money to fight. 20 years, 16 served in medium security prison.
The truth is straightforward she WAS underage, but she dressed and acted like she was 19. In fact, that’s what she led him to believe. He found out later that she was just 15. She developed early and tended to hangout with much older people.
Her parents had began asking where she was going so she concocted a story about some guy that attacked her, all of which was false, just to keep herself out of trouble. It was his word against hers and since he was an adult male, he lost.
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He was reluctant to tell his story. It is one that is all too common now. He met someone who he thought was a contemporary, someone who then deceived him and he ended up serving time for it. His last words before drifting off into silence was this, “I didn’t know I had to ID people before hanging out with them.”
Stories like this are very common on the yard. Did he commit a crime or was it just ignorance? Is it worth 20 years, or would a short term suffice? Shouldn’t she be punished for her part, for the deceit?
There was no assault, only ignorance on his part and deception on hers. Its time to stop focusing on the numbers and start focusing on the truth and true justice. As for the character in this story, despite having been a good person, he is quickly learning how to become a real criminal, thanks to our “justice” system.
